Dating in the BOI: Mr. TDH

App used: None

Number of Dates: Zero (not officially) only been messaging & hanging out

Status: ongoing

You know those nights when you go out & you have zero  expectations? Historically, these nights have been some of my best ones.

Mr. TDH (tall, dark & handsome):

  • Dark brown hair
  • Perfect height (for me; at least 6’4)
  • Light brown eyes

How did we met? Simple: in a nightclub.

In addition to online apps, I’m making all efforts to put myself out there, in hopes  to meet someone the more organic way: at a bar or some place where lots of singles congregate.

When I walked into this one popular establishment in Boise, no one really caught my eye. It wasn’t until I was dancing  near the DJ booth where I noticed someone in my peripheral vision.

Ladies (or even gentleman), you KNOW when someone is eyeing you. They tend to stand close to you, but not too close. They may stare at you but not too long. It’s this weird game of “who will speak first.”

After realizing I may have an admirer, I made every effort to play  it cool. I swayed my body to the beat with a little bit more confidence, ran my  hands thru my curly hair a bit more, and may have glanced at my phone to seem distracted 😂

After swatting away a few annoying flies [flies = type of men who 1) wouldn’t go away after multiple efforts to be nice; and 2) keep buzzing in your ear with nonsense like “why you don’t want to dance with me?],  I was finally alone.

I wish I was making this up, but it’s the drawback of going out. You gotta deal with these  situations.

Anyway, back to Mr. TDH.

After dancing solo for a bit, I felt someone’s presence. Thinking it was another fly, I slowly turned to face my right side to say something polite. Before I could even open my mouth to say something, I was greeted by this tall man in a vest.

After he gave me eye contact, he leans over and whispers in my ear  are you single?

Damn, his eyes are so mesmerizing  I thought.

After realizing that he just asked me a question, I quickly answered yes

He then asked are you sure?

Like I would lie about that. I smiled back and answered yes, I’m sure.

Then he asked me to add him on Facebook.

Hmm, am I getting old? Is this now the new thing, asking for FB accounts instead of phone numbers?

I obliged and added him. I’m glad I did because I had access to his other photos (which confirmed he was still TDH even in the light; nightclub goggles  tend to be distorted because of the darkness & maybe with the alcohol. Someone can be attractive in the bar, but once you head outside in the bright light, you’re like 😳😱.

When I saw his birthday on Facebook I was like, OMG I’m a cougar.

After feeling like a cougar (which I’m really not; he is my junior but not by too much of a gap), I realized that maybe I look younger for my age.

Since that initial night, it’s been back and forth messaging. We message each other, maybe hang out, and then not speak for some time.

He’s my type of eye candy, which is refreshing given that I’ve been out of the dating scene for some years (yes, I said years).

Where do I see this going?

Honestly, I don’t know. I enjoy talking to Mr. TDH about random things when we hang out, but no emotions are invested. There’s no “good morning” texting and long phone calls. No meeting of family members. No date nights. Just fun.

And that leads me to conclude with this: dating — whether in the BOI or in any other market — the dater’s intent can be heavily influenced by the local culture & norms.

Sure, some people date for the primary purpose of getting married. But where I’m from (south Florida), that isn’t necessarily the culture. People date just to date, have fun, and feel as though s/he has options. It wasn’t until I moved to New England where I experienced a culture shock. Almost everyone in my age bracket was 1) in a long-term relationship, 2) engaged, or 3) married. A lot of college sweethearts. That was the first time in my life where I felt old & self-conscious about not being in the position for marriage.

Fast forward to now, I’m dating to explore Boise. Not to overshare, but my most recent relationship was hard. The breakup was even harder. We lived together, talked about marriage, and were even engaged. With him already having a young child from another relationship, that was the first time in my life I felt like I was creating my own family.

Then boom — shit happens.

I’m now here in Boise and embracing the dating scene. I’m dating for the enjoyment of 1st dates, trying new places, blogging about horror stories. I told myself that after my recent heartache, I didn’t have the energy to fully invest in another person , at least not right now. I only have enough energy for myself, committing to my needs, and making myself happy.

Back to Mr. TDH.

I have no clue where this will lead. I simply enjoy the fact he approached me with confidence, never been rude to me when we hang out (so far), and made me feel like I was the only woman in the nightclub that night. Which was a sexy feeling I haven’t felt in some time.

Read my other Dating Stories in the BOI here.

Do you have any dating stories? I’d love to hear them!


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