Remember Glenn for my last Dating in the BOI post? He had that whole awkward date with Ms. Negative.
He’s back and he sure has a dating experience worth sharing. Here is his dating experience with Ms. Scary.
App used: None
# of Dates: 1
Date Location: Apartment
Hey Boise, it’s Glenn.
I’m here with another crazy dating story and as much as I wish this one wasn’t true, it is. To give you a preview it involves me:
- falling down a flight of stairs
- a chihuahua named Sasha; and
- the craziest woman I have ever met
It all started when a friend thought she would hook me up with one of her friends. It seemed like a great idea and I felt like I could use a break from Tinder. We’ll also refer to this one as Ms. Scary. Ms. Scary is a beautiful tall blonde who is my age (26) and she seemed like she liked to have a lot of fun. I got her number from my friend and we began to chat.
After 2 or 3 days of texting we decided to meet up for a drink. Sadly I caught the L
caught the “L” refers to when someone is in a losing situation
She bailed on me last minute before the date. I thought this would be the end; however, I was very wrong. After about a week of not talking Ms.Scary calls me and invites me over for a drink. I thought
why the hell not
I decided to get real dressed up (running shorts, a Northface fleece and flip flops) and head to her house. I guess she was trying to live out some sort of fantasy where she’s like Fonzi [from the TV show Happy Days] because she lived above a garage in the Meridian end. So I walked up the stairs, opened the doggy door at the top, and she met me at the door. I walked into her place, and Ms. Scary gave me a tour of her apartment. The tour ended with her measuring me against a wall and marking down my height.
We then sat on the couch and she poured two glasses of wine. She apologized for bailing the other night and we decided to watch a couple episodes of The Office. Out of nowhere she asked why I had my legs crossed, and I responded with
it’s February and I was wearing shorts and I was kind of cold.
She responded with
as a psych major I know what that is and can tell you’re being closed off with me
So I awkwardly uncrossed my legs and started realizing I may need to get out. Right before I could get up to see her little chihuahua– Sasha — jumped on my lap. Obviously everyone knows how cute chihuahuas are, so I gave her a belly rub. As soon as her chihuahua was wiggling around on my lap, Ms. Scary told me I needed to stop and not to spoil her dog. Extremely confused I again decided I needed to leave, but she said enough of The Office and said we should listen to some music.
I stood up and tried to make my way to the door as she put on the music. Now I was expecting maybe some Michael Buble, Drake or John Mayer (anything white girls listen to).
Death metal… she chose death metal
I was so weirded out as she was head banging and I was just awkwardly standing by the door. It was like a car crash I couldn’t look away from. I decided this may be my cue to bail. As I was about to open the door, she asked me where I was going and that I needed to sit down.
Okay now I was scared.
I started realizing no one would hear my screams over the death metal. She then got in my face and told me I wasn’t her type and that she didn’t understand why I even came over (neither did I). I tried to thank her (I’m not really sure why) and ran for my car.
In my escape, I began to run out of the apartment and down the hall, but classic me I fell over the doggy door at the top of the stairs and I proceeded to fall down the stairs.
Sprawled out on the sidewalk at the bottom I just laid there. In that moment i contemplated so many things
- Why did I even come here?
- Why is she so mean to Sasha the Chihuahua?
- Is she coming down to kill me?
What seemed like forever being on the ground was most likely only 3 seconds. I eventually got up and limped to my car (I wish i was making this up). Once I got out her sight, I immediately called my friend asking
why she would think this girl would have been a good fit for me
Oh so she’s still crazy.
I may just have to take a break from dating, but then there wouldn’t be these fun stories. I guess its back to Tinder — ladies if you see a Glenn swipe right.
Do you have fun dating stories you’d like to share? Submit your stories anonymously here: https://goo.gl/forms/gob93ljvt1tzEuK52. Trust me – you’ll enjoy it.