Dating in the BOI: Mr. Officer 


App: None

# of Dates: 2 (ish)

Status: No Contact

A few weeks ago,  I went to watch a football game at a local sports bar. I decided to smile more, be more approachable, and be open to small talk. I saw this so you can have some context.

Raised in south Florida — population heavily influenced with the sounds and beats of other cultures — I’ve been conditioned that when I go out, you don’t really smile. You may flirt with your eyes and a smirk, but it’s unlike a sports bar experience. What I learned last year, local bars are heavy on the small talk and beer flowing. I’m not saying it’s new to me given I lived in Portland, ME. But I don’t really hang out at sports bars.  But after asking people around where single locals hang out, I decided I had to step out my comfort zone.

My decision to step out my comfort zone included being more approachable, drinking “buds” and engaging in small talk. This time, it must have worked. I was outgoing, smiled, and ended up chatting with a tall, blue-eyed man with a pretty smile and a sense of humor. His way of breaking the ice was to joke that my friend took his seat. I played along with the joke, and before I knew it, my friend and I were sitting 3rd row, 50th yard line at the BSU game. I’ll admit – the game was so much fun, especially since my friend never been to a BSU game.

If you’re wondering, he had extra tickets because his date at the time cancelled last minute.

Insert violins.

Through our small talk conversation, he mentioned that he was a deputy sheriff. He even made a cute joke about “officer and lawyer” when I told him I went to law school.
After the game, my friend and I ended up back at the sports bar to find Mr. Officer to thank him for the tickets. Lo and behold, he was at the bar. Alone.

His friends decided to take the party on the road.

Mr. Officer, my friend and I decided to head downtown to grab something to eat. We originally wanted to go to The Reef, but to our dismay it was closed.

We ended up at Old Chicago for some late-night grub. I wasn’t in the mood for pizza, but I made it work. Toward the end of the night , Mr. Officer asked if we could “hang out” sometime and asked for my number. I smiled and without hesitation, gave him my number.

Sounds like a good story so far, right? Nothing crazy.

Well, except for him telling us that he is “fixed” and can’t have any more kids. He doesn’t want any more and rather date someone who already has kids.

Stop. Say what now?

Ummm.. first of all, too soon to mention that? Maybe. Even if not too soon, a lot during dinner. I don’t think we even got to the “ex” part of the conversation yet.

And secondly, I didn’t want to dive into whether I wanted children during that conversation. We were having fun, drinking, and eating. ( I do want children,  by the way. In case you were wondering).

I didn’t want to make that comment a big deal because I just met him and we had yet to go on our first date.

First Date Jitters

Because I didn’t meet him on Tinder or some other ridiculous app , I was legitimately nervous about my date. For those who have met me in-person, I’m outgoing and enjoy meeting people. But there are moments when I get shy. I mean shyyyyyyy. Like that I-need-to-look-away type of shy.  Mr. Officer suggested we go see It the Movie whenever I returned from my work trip.

Oohhh, scary movie for a first date? Yes I love it.

Oh c’mon , it’s ideal. You get to flinch and get close to your date. Which is exactly what I did. We first met at the Matador at the Village. Nothing like an adult beverage to calm your nerves. Soon thereafter, we headed over to the movie theater to get our seats. Mr. Officer was a gentleman and paid, for both the drinks and the movie tickets.

Aside from It being a strange and creepy movie, I’d said the first date was a success.

During the week prior to our movie date, and afterwards toward my birthday, he kept texting me.

Asking me when I was going to Vegas for work because he wouldn’t mind joining me.

Asking me if I ever been to Haunted World because we could go together.

Asking me if I ever been to Jackpot, NV  for gambling.

Asking me how my day was at work.

If you haven’t caught on, he would do nothing but ask me about future plans and seemed eager to do them together.

Again – nothing is weird with this dating story so far, right? You’re probably thinking

Diana…c’mon now. Get to the good stuff.

Fine, you got it!

Never Been With A  ___________ Before

Disclaimer: the next few sections I’m going to be talking about my own experiences in Boise that I haven’t spoken about in my dating blogs. I didn’t feel the need to because I wanted to keep my blog posts entertaining. But I think with this recent dating experience,  it’s fair to shed light on a few things.

On my birthday, Mr. Officer offered to meet me at one of the local bars for a birthday drink. He ended up meeting me at Hannah’s and bought me a drink. He was out with friends to watch BSU play. All was fine & dandy until he started talking about how he never lived outside of Idaho. He probably won’t anytime soon given his custody arrangement with his ex-wife.

Not strange at all. I know plenty of people who lived in one state all their life. 

Little did I know that this comment was leading to another statement of how he never been with (which he later corrected by saying “hung out with”) a woman of color. He said “black girl” then again corrected himself and said “Spanish woman.”

Hmmm….what to say to that?

My only way to respond was with oh yeah? That’s interesting. he continued to say that he always liked women of different backgrounds but Boise didn’t really have much when he was growing up. I thought

Ok, good to know. I appreciate your candor and honesty.

The conversation stayed on race for a little longer. He asked me if I dated outside my race, and I laughed saying I’m from south Florida, where it’s a melting pot.  I directly answered by saying yes, I dated someone who is white.  Fortunately, the conversation shifted when a song came on (Despacito, no less).

Before I knew it, it was time for me to head home. My brother (fortunately) met me at Tom Grainey’s and we walked to our car.

Here’s the thing: I understand that I don’t live in South Florida. I’m cognizant of where I live. I lived in New England where diversity is not as prominent as West Palm Beach, Florida.  Despite this awareness, it’s not always easy to deal with certain uncomfortable situations:

  • My curly hair has been “patted” and touched like I’m a cat. A man while leaving a bar stroked my head and said it’s so soft like my cat’s fur
  • I was minding my business at a local bar (I won’t mention where), when I felt someone grab my right arm forcing me to dance with him to Despacito (I guess this song is an open invitation to dance with anyone who looks Hispanic because of course we want to dance to it). Rather than acknowledging that he startled me, he whispered in my ear that I need to relax and that he wasn’t like every “corny white guy” in Boise.
  • Could I cross off being with a black girl off his bucket list? (no, this is not a joke)
  • Being told that he voted for Obama and does that qualify him to make me want to date him. Soon after asking me that, he dropped an entire PBR on my leg with no intention of picking it up.
  • Constantly told how exotic I look (I guess it’s a compliment, but not when it’s repeated over and over by the same person and the inappropriate time & place).
  • Never seen a black girl with freckles before

I say this because I want to give you some context to what I have to say next. It’s not like I haven’t been told something similar to what I’ve mentioned before. It just seems to me it’s been happening more frequently than I’d like. For those who are open-minded when it comes to dating, please understand this. If you meet someone from another race or ethnicity from yours, and they are showing interest, I don’t think it’s wise to start off any  any discussion about “have you been with a ________ before?” Unless the person asks. If I asked Mr. Officer whether he’s dating/talked to someone outside his race, I’m curious and want to have a discussion with it.  I’m only speaking from my experience, but that type of comment makes the person uncomfortable.

And this goes two ways. My 2nd serious boyfriend in my life is white. He is 6’4, with deep blue eyes, and surfer tan skin. He was also raised in Naperville, IL and apparently raised around all types of cultures/races. That said, when I first met him, I kept saying comments in a joking way like I never dated a white guy before or you must like mixed girls if you’re talking to me.

I’m cringing as I write these comments because I can’t believe I said that.

My ex finally said something and told me it made him uncomfortable when I said those comments. It made him feel as though race was a big part of our relationship. I failed to realize he constantly thought he wasn’t good enough because of his race. Or he felt insecure when we would be out in public (yes, even in Fort Lauderdale, FL).  I didn’t need to add to his feelings by making my own insensitive comments, regardless if a joke or not.

I was younger, of course, but I learned a valuable lesson then. That lesson is what I brought with me to Portland, ME. I ended up having some weird situations while I lived there too. But the situations were few and far between.


Fast-forward to now, I don’t talk to Mr. Officer anymore. He did text me apologizing for being MIA because he’s been sick. And I got some random SnapChat photo of his groin area (he was wearing jeans). He immediately messaged me saying “Sorry, my SnapChat is acting up.”  My brother thinks it was mistake photo, but still.




I’m taking a break from dating in Boise. I truly am. I have so much more positive elements in my life to focus on  that dating isn’t a priority. At least not in Boise. If I end up going on a date, I need for him to “wow” me. Make me stop in my tracks. Impress me with his desire to spend time & get to know me. Until then, I highly doubt I’ll have any dating stories to share in the near future. Don’t worry – I’ll have some fun Dating in the BOI stories to share that are not mine. I’ll even host some Dating in the BOI activities.

But as for me, I’m signing off as the primary dating blogger.




Single in the BOI: Mr. Forgetful

Dating in the BOI has been an adventure, to say the least. From awkward first dates, to run-ins with people from my past, it sure isn’t boring here in the BOI.

For this entry, I changed it from Dating in the BOI to Single in the BOI because I’ll start sharing stories about my “Single Ladies” experiences when I go out.

Last month, it felt like I went to Fatty’s a whole lot. Maybe because it was 3 weekends in a row where I ended up at Fatty’s.

When I tell people I go to Fatty’s, the responses vary: some people respond with an immediate annoyed look, others say “I LOVE FATTY’S”, or I don’t really get a reaction. More like an indifference.  To me, any place which plays music, has room to walk around, and I can see a dancing Panda is a win.

On those three separate occasions, I ran into this one guy — I’ll call him Mr. Forgetful (keep reading, because I’ll tell you why he has this name).  Nothing really stood out about this one guy — he’s actually shorter than me, wears hoodies, and smells like cigarettes. BUT I’m a sucker for pretty smiles and a guy has his own way of being (not in a big crowd acting reckless and consistently bumping into me!)

Going against my norm, I smiled back at him prompting him to want to walk my way and give me a high-5. Yes, he gave me high-5. Not sure if this was out of nervousness or what. But I played along. Don’t want to knock down a high-5.

Later that night, I continued to dance in a solo fashion enjoying the sounds of the deejay. Mr. Forgetful approaches me, and this time he decides to… wait for it (in my Barney voice from HIMYM)..HUG ME.

Yes, this time he hugged me.

Honestly, I thought that was pretty cute gesture. It also made me realize how much he smelled like cigarettes (not really a fan of cigarettes).

As the night went on, he came back and we engaged in a conversation.  He asked me my:

  1. Name
  2.  Where I’m from (he’s not from Boise)
  3. If I come to Fatty’s often

I told him my name probably more than once. But who is counting.

The following weekend, who do I see at Fatty’s? Yes, Mr. Forgetful. No, this isn’t where he forgets who I am. He actually remembered. Instead of a hug or a high-5, this time he extended his arm out and gave me a casual greeting. While doing that he yells out I remember YOU!

This time, I didn’t stay out long and only wanted a temporary escape by listening to music at Fatty’s. When I did see him, we danced together for a bit (side note: I’m proud that I got over my own insecurities when dancing with someone shorter than me; he’s probably 5’8 or shorter. I’m noticeably taller given I’m 5’10).

This hi/bye game was what happened the third time I saw him at Fatty’s.

This is when he became Mr. Forgetful.

When I went to the Egyptian Theater for Valentine’s Day to see When Harry Met Sally, I recognized a familiar face. Mind you, some weeks had past since I last saw him. After giving the young lady my entry ticket, I saw Mr. Forgetful working at the Egyptian. With some seconds passing, Mr. Forgetful turns and says to me oh, don’t I know you from somewhere?


Do you know me from somewhere?

Hey buddy — it’s not like I’ve seen you at so many places in Boise. I’ve never bumped into you at any other place but Fatty’s. Yet, it’s challenging for you to remember me. Even my friend was like really? She remembers me talking about Mr. Forgetful when we went out to Fatty’s together. He even walked by us that one night.

I did what anyone would do — greeted him by his first name, and I reminded him we’d met at Fatty’s.

You know what he did? Walked around where he was stationed while working, and he decided to hug  me.

Kinda awkward.

So here’s the scoop. He doesn’t probably remember me because :

  1. He wants to come off as aloof and un-bothered.
  2. He may have been under the influence during out 3 separate conversations, including me mentioning my name at least 3 times (my thoughts & reason).
  3. Or, he’s that forgetful

Overall, I thought it was entertaining.

You’re probably asking whether I genuinely expect someone to remember my name after meeting/talking in a nightclub. Honestly — yes, yes I do. Regardless of whether I’ve meet you at Fatty’s, at Albertson’s, or while at a professional event. I try to remember names & faces, especially if it’s more than one occasion I see you.

I haven’t seen him since the Egyptian, and I really don’t plan on seeing him anytime soon. Don’t get me wrong, I do plan on going to Fatty’s and enjoy an amazing night out.

I might just become inflicted with selective amnesia next time I happen to see him.

Single Boiseans: what do you do when someone doesn’t recognize you after a few exchanges?




[UPDATE] Dating in the BOI: Mr. Fitted Cap

Ok, so you remember my story about Mr. Fitted Cap? You know, the guy I had a good connection with and he all of a sudden went ghost?


He returned.

Yes, ladies and gents. He returned, and it was a shocker.

About a month or so ago I was on Facebook searching for a friend and typed in the 1st initial of Mr. Fitted Cap’s first name. When his name popped up, I was thinking oh yeah, what’s he up to?

I look at his Facebook page, and I see every single photo of what I believe was his girlfriend removed and off the radar.

Fine, I’ll address the obvious. How did I find his Facebook page? I’ll admit: I remembered his last name when he told me, and I ended up looking for him on Facebook when we were first talking. Don’t act like YOU don’t search for people when you know his/her first & last name!

I found him a few months back, and my thoughts of why he disappeared the 1st time were confirmed. He was openly dating someone. I only assumed it was his ex he returned to.

Fast forward  to now, when his name appeared and I checked his page, all artifacts of her existence disappeared from his page. Poof – gone!

What the…?

My next thought was watch me see him on Tinder.

I sh*t you not, who did I see when I was Tindering a few days after seeing him on Facebook? Yes, no other than Mr. Fitted Cap himself! I couldn’t help but say aloud holy SH*T! while giggling.

For shits and giggles, I purposely swiped right when his profile came cross my fingertips. After swiping right, I didn’t see we matched.


Because I don’t have my Tinder settings set to where I receive notifications when I match/receive a message, I’m unaware of when someone messages me. To my surprise, I see a message from Mr. Fitted Cap

Hey how are you? I hope all is well .

You hope all is well? Really buddy? You GOT to have better game than that.

With my curiosity  peaked, I entertained his message.

Me: Life is good, thanks! I’m surprised to see you back on this app.

Mr. Fitted Cap: On here to find you.

Me: [I call bullshit] Oh yeah, that’s interesting!

After some back and forth exchange, I stopped hearing from him. A week went by, and I thought to myself

Here we go AGAIN with his disappearing act!

Of COURSE I went to see if my suspicious was right as to why he disappeared. Yup – new profile pic with his (now?) girlfriend.

Hey bud, make up your mind. Either you’re single or your NOT. C’mon now. You’re a little too old to be playing these type of games.

I did what any sane person would: unmatched with him on Tinder.


Oh – this story doesn’t end. After writing this blog post and saving it for later, more events transpired


About a week and half ago, I woke up to a FACEBOOK friend request from guess who. Yes, Mr. Fitted Cap.  My curiosity got the best of me, and I ended up accepting his request.

FB Message convo:

Mr. Fitted Cap (MFC): Hi, how are you going?

Me: Fine, you?

MFC: Going OK. Weather is getting to me.

Me: [Buddy – get to the point!] Oh yeah?

MFC: Yeah. Well, I was hoping we can hang out again

Me: Ummm… why? So you can disappear again? LOL (insert the LOL to make things less confrontational)

MFC: LOL yeah, I had to clear some things up.

Me: Oh ok.


Fast-forward to last Monday, I find myself in front of Mr. Fitted Cap once again. This time around, the allure and mystery was gone. Instead of experiencing this newness that comes when you’re hanging out for the first few times, I felt rather annoyed.

We talked, and I asked him about his disappearing act. I got the usual roundabout answers and nothing direct. I then asked directly (which I had no choice at this point): do you have a girlfriend?


I was thinking sure buddy. sure. 

Our conversation ended, nothing spectacular. No hug or anything like that. I thanked him for reaching out, said “hope to do it again,” and told him not to disappear again.

Oh brace yourself.

Mr. David Blaine the magician appears. Kid you not, two days later I see I have one less friend on my Facebook friend list. Who ended up deleted me? No other than Mr. Fitted Cap-turned-Mr. David Blaine, the magician.


You know what makes me laugh? It’s the ridiculously of his behavior. I’d prefer if he was direct and honest. Not someone who hides behind messaging and Facebook. I don’t want someone like that in my life. My conspiracy theory is that he is living a life of wannabe single dude who happens to be in a relationship.

Back to the drawing board.

Not really, though.

I’m continually meeting new people here in Boise, and as a result I’m starting to stray away from the whole Tinder app. I haven’t even bothered with POF or OK Cupid lately. Don’t worry — I have stories to share with you as a single woman in the BOI. Just brace yourself for fewer online dating mishaps.

And to Mr. Fitted Cap: buddy, you take a “L”. For those who don’t know this term, it’s for people who earn a loss, like a loser. “L” for loser.

I’ll see you again sometime here in Boise. And when I do, I’ll do what’s best for both of us. Cast my own spell on you and make you invisible.

Poof! Be gone.


Dating in the BOI: Mr. Emerald City

App used: Tinder

1st Date: 13th Street Pub and Grill

Status: No 2nd Date

I’ve been to Seattle once, and I haven’t met anyone originally from there. [ Insert Mr. Emerald City.]

This weather encourages me to explore these dating apps even more. Not because I’m desperate for a date (umm, no), but because I’m entertaining my boredom due to this thing called cabin fever.

Around the start of the (first) snowmageddon, I went on Tinder to kill my boredom vibes. I ended up matching with Mr. Emerald City.

  • Tall? Yes. Really tall, actually
  • Smart? On paper, yes.
  • Good bio? Sure. It let me know he likes yoga and dancing

After matching,  I got the standard introductory message I hope you’re having a lovely evening.

Hmm, OK. Let me pause here for a sec.

This sweet and oh-so-nice message is the honey. There may be moments where a man means to send a genuine messages with adjectives like lovely and wonderful. I’m learning that not all honey is sweet.


After the usual back and forth banter, we exchanged numbers. What I appreciate about Mr. Emerald City was his eagerness to talk & initiate meeting– unlike those time wasters I’ve interacted with in the past.

Our schedules allowed for us to meet the following Monday after matching. The place chosen was 13th Street Pub and Grill.

Yes, a new place to feature for my blog!  I thought.

He told me it’s his usual spot and a place where he frequents.

Note to self.

Monday morning comes around, and he surprised me with a friendly hope you’re having a good morning text message. Hmm — that’s different. Haven’t received one of this type of messages in a long time. In years past, it’s usually been from someone I’m seriously getting to know.

I’ll admit — I do enjoy receiving sweet nothings like that: seeing how my day is going; good morning texts. Hmm, will my dating in the BOI take a turn for the better? Only time will tell.

It’s 8:30pm and time for our date. I get to 13th Street a little late, and walked around looking for Mr. Emerald City. He texted me earlier saying how he’s in the corner sitting at a table. The Pub isn’t the largest pub, and you’ll notice someone sitting alone. After walking around and coming up short, I eventually asked the waitress if someone was waiting alone.

The waitress looks at me somewhat perplexed, and answers with no, no one is sitting alone.

Dammit, was I stood up? 

I grabbed my phone to confirm he said 13th Street Pub. I mean, I’d look like a fool if we were to meet someplace else. After confirming, I sent him a text hey I’m here.

No more than 5 seconds later, I looked down and saw an incoming call from Mr. Emerald City. I picked up and he apologized profusely and said he got confused where we were to meet and how his day was so crazy.

Hmm, I bet he was worried I’d leave. He should of been.

Like he told me on the phone, he made it to 13th Street Pub in 5 minutes. I decided to wait for him near the fire pit. If you haven’t been to 13th Street Pub, it has this beautiful fire pit in the patio. It’s perfect for this winter weather.

While waiting for Mr. Emerald City, I snapped some photos (of course!), and checked my ‘gram. It was a way for me to keep distracted from those first date jitters. Believe it or not, I still get those!

With what seemed like forever, I was greeted by this extremely tall man with a Colgate smile. I couldn’t help but to say to myself damn he is tall.  

If you couldn’t tell from my other previous posts, height is a weakness of mine.

Mr. Emerald City  was wearing a beanie (a piece of clothing I never really cared for because , well, who the hell wears them in Florida?!), a fitted jacket, and some adidas. In addition to his height,  I also noticed his ridiculously green and bright eyes.

I tried my BEST to refrain from being shy. I tend to get that way initially on a 1st date. I eventually get more comfortable as time goes on.

Once he sat down, we ordered drinks &  eased into our conversation.  Mr. Emerald City was engaged, made me laugh, and asked me questions giving me the impression he wanted to get to know me.

After 2 hours passed and the bill was paid, Mr. Emerald City said hey, I’m having a good time & I don’t want the evening to end; want to listen to music at  my place?.

Let me pause — again.

This isn’t my first time at the dating rodeo.   I’m not in college where I go to my crush’s dorm room, watch a movie, and accidentally fall asleep. I’m talking to someone I matched with on Tinder. What do you think “let’s go to my place” means?

What do you think I did?

I’ll keep you all in suspense.

I’ll say this. All that sweet talking ended. I haven’t heard from him since.

Does it matter? I’m not sure. Boise is small, and I know I’ll see him again. Especially when he shared some of his interested and how they overlap with mine.

As I’m writing this blog, I can’t help but to laugh. Laughing because these dating experiences are moments which highlight my single life here in the BOI. Sometimes, you’ll experience this whole bait & switch effect. The person will attract you with some sweetness (this goes both ways, male and female) and  willing  to show some genuine interest. But it may not last after the 1st date, depending on how it ends.


No word from him. I was attracted to him and all, but something was missing. Maybe it was that lackluster kiss towards the end of the night. I don’t know. But I’m confident there’ll be a time where I’ll run into him. And when I do, it’ll be a quick hello (with confidence) and a slow goodbye. No time for small talk.

Click HERE to read more of my Dating in the BOI stories. Don’t forget to join my Boise Bucket List community today!