[UPDATE] Dating in the BOI: Mr. Fitted Cap

Ok, so you remember my story about Mr. Fitted Cap? You know, the guy I had a good connection with and he all of a sudden went ghost?

Well…

He returned.


Yes, ladies and gents. He returned, and it was a shocker.

About a month or so ago I was on Facebook searching for a friend and typed in the 1st initial of Mr. Fitted Cap’s first name. When his name popped up, I was thinking oh yeah, what’s he up to?


I look at his Facebook page, and I see every single photo of what I believe was his girlfriend removed and off the radar.

Fine, I’ll address the obvious. How did I find his Facebook page? I’ll admit: I remembered his last name when he told me, and I ended up looking for him on Facebook when we were first talking. Don’t act like YOU don’t search for people when you know his/her first & last name!


I found him a few months back, and my thoughts of why he disappeared the 1st time were confirmed. He was openly dating someone. I only assumed it was his ex he returned to.

Fast forward  to now, when his name appeared and I checked his page, all artifacts of her existence disappeared from his page. Poof – gone!


What the…?

My next thought was watch me see him on Tinder.


I sh*t you not, who did I see when I was Tindering a few days after seeing him on Facebook? Yes, no other than Mr. Fitted Cap himself! I couldn’t help but say aloud holy SH*T! while giggling.


For shits and giggles, I purposely swiped right when his profile came cross my fingertips. After swiping right, I didn’t see we matched.

Asshole.


Because I don’t have my Tinder settings set to where I receive notifications when I match/receive a message, I’m unaware of when someone messages me. To my surprise, I see a message from Mr. Fitted Cap

Hey how are you? I hope all is well .

You hope all is well? Really buddy? You GOT to have better game than that.


With my curiosity  peaked, I entertained his message.

Me: Life is good, thanks! I’m surprised to see you back on this app.

Mr. Fitted Cap: On here to find you.

Me: [I call bullshit] Oh yeah, that’s interesting!


After some back and forth exchange, I stopped hearing from him. A week went by, and I thought to myself

Here we go AGAIN with his disappearing act!

Of COURSE I went to see if my suspicious was right as to why he disappeared. Yup – new profile pic with his (now?) girlfriend.


Hey bud, make up your mind. Either you’re single or your NOT. C’mon now. You’re a little too old to be playing these type of games.


I did what any sane person would: unmatched with him on Tinder.


 

Oh – this story doesn’t end. After writing this blog post and saving it for later, more events transpired


 

About a week and half ago, I woke up to a FACEBOOK friend request from guess who. Yes, Mr. Fitted Cap.  My curiosity got the best of me, and I ended up accepting his request.

FB Message convo:

Mr. Fitted Cap (MFC): Hi, how are you going?

Me: Fine, you?

MFC: Going OK. Weather is getting to me.

Me: [Buddy – get to the point!] Oh yeah?

MFC: Yeah. Well, I was hoping we can hang out again

Me: Ummm… why? So you can disappear again? LOL (insert the LOL to make things less confrontational)

MFC: LOL yeah, I had to clear some things up.

Me: Oh ok.


 

Fast-forward to last Monday, I find myself in front of Mr. Fitted Cap once again. This time around, the allure and mystery was gone. Instead of experiencing this newness that comes when you’re hanging out for the first few times, I felt rather annoyed.

We talked, and I asked him about his disappearing act. I got the usual roundabout answers and nothing direct. I then asked directly (which I had no choice at this point): do you have a girlfriend?

Nope.

I was thinking sure buddy. sure. 

Our conversation ended, nothing spectacular. No hug or anything like that. I thanked him for reaching out, said “hope to do it again,” and told him not to disappear again.


Oh brace yourself.

Mr. David Blaine the magician appears. Kid you not, two days later I see I have one less friend on my Facebook friend list. Who ended up deleted me? No other than Mr. Fitted Cap-turned-Mr. David Blaine, the magician.

No.Lie.


You know what makes me laugh? It’s the ridiculously of his behavior. I’d prefer if he was direct and honest. Not someone who hides behind messaging and Facebook. I don’t want someone like that in my life. My conspiracy theory is that he is living a life of wannabe single dude who happens to be in a relationship.


Back to the drawing board.

Not really, though.

I’m continually meeting new people here in Boise, and as a result I’m starting to stray away from the whole Tinder app. I haven’t even bothered with POF or OK Cupid lately. Don’t worry — I have stories to share with you as a single woman in the BOI. Just brace yourself for fewer online dating mishaps.


And to Mr. Fitted Cap: buddy, you take a “L”. For those who don’t know this term, it’s for people who earn a loss, like a loser. “L” for loser.


I’ll see you again sometime here in Boise. And when I do, I’ll do what’s best for both of us. Cast my own spell on you and make you invisible.


Poof! Be gone.

 

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Dating in the BOI: Do’s and Don’ts for Singles on VDay

For couples, this is the time where the box stores are FLOODED with Valentine’s Day goodies (stuffed animals, candy, balloons, chocolate, love-y dove-y cards) and your heart flutters with excitement.


As a single, you’re most likely thinking

single-hans-solo


Some time ago, Valentine’s Day conjured up dread in the land of singles. Not this year! I, for one, forbid to wallow in sorrow for not being happily hooked up.  Here are my Dos and Don’ts for Singles in the BOI:

DO: Give Thanks for the Ones who Got Away

During this next couple of weeks, it may be inevitable to think about the exes in your life.

I loved when he did this

He was so cute

She was the love of my life

Stop! Pump the breaks. Don’t succumb to those all feelings from your past. Be thankful for the cosmos intervening and giving you another chance at love.


DON’T: Feel Sorry For Yourself

Feeling sorry yourself is never a sexy way of being. Use this time to participate in random acts of kindness. Maybe buy a stranger coffee when at Flying M. How about spoiling your pooches with kisses & toys for Valentine’s Day. Check in with an old friend & treat them to lunch. You’ll have more fun when you shift your perspective about Valentine’s Day.


DO: Spend the Day with Friends

I remember the days where I wasn’t in a relationship, yet I had one of the best Valentine’s Day. I lived with 3 other women in a dorm-styled apartment when I went to law school. None of us were seriously seeing anyone. Rather, we baked a delicious cake, bought each other mini gifts, grabbed bottles of wine, cranked up the music, and danced to our favorite songs. It was FABULOUS!

Grab your single friends (or friends who can’t be with their sig other), go out for dinner, see a movie (When Harry Met Sally @ The Egyptian), and share the love of friendship. Checkout out my list of things to do in BOI for VDay.


DON’T: Drunk Dial your Ex(es)

Ok – so all of these memories of your ex are flooding into your mind. It doesn’t help you’re drinking too. That Ed Sheeran song reminds you of your ex. That memory triggers you to start some Facebook stalking. That memory triggers you to grab your phone and possible text him or her.

NO – STOP DROP & ROLL

Don’t succumb to the weak moment and texting your ex(es). Don’t blame it on the alcohol!


DO: Celebrate Your Single Status

Listen – did you ask to be single around Valentine’s Day? No. No you didn’t. So don’t be ashamed. Celebrate a new stage in your life. Or if it’s been some time you’ve been single, EMBRACE IT.

Take it from someone who’s going to celebrate the 2nd Valentine’s Day single. But I’ll be honest and open: even when I was in a relationship, it was lonely and a moment of complete unhappiness. (Click HERE to grab my list of things to do in Boise for Valentine’s Day).

What would you rather be: in a unhappy relationship or single, dedicating time to loving who you are? I’d take the latter, please.


DON’T: Feel Ashamed of Your Single Status

Because I’m not from Boise (where relationships are the standard way of dating), I don’t know how it is to be shamed for being single. In South Florida, sometimes people like to be single around Valentine’s Day because of all the single-oriented festivities happening downtown Ft. Lauderdale. I RARELY thought about the times I was single ,because Valentine’s Day was about celebrating the sexiness of being single.

So twirl on those haters who are making you feel ashamed for being single. Bye hatahs! (Click HERE to grab my list of things to do in Boise for Valentine’s Day).


DO: Spend That Money On Yourself

Always wanted to get an ultimate massage?

How about that pair of sunglasses?

Or that haircut you’ve always wanted but never DARE to?

Here’s my answer: Yes, Yes and YES! Yes to everything. I’m going to personally treat myself to some new music. I LOVE The Weeknd, and I’m going to buy his newest album and jam to it. Boom.


DON’T: Go On A Blind or First Date

Some may ask why not?

Well, think about it. Even if this person is the coolest and going out for Valentine’s Day seems like a good idea:

  • you’ll be surrounded by couples kissing & cuddling
  • more pressure on the date than average
  • mismanaged expectations

Make the decision to go out the following day, when the heightened Cupid’s spell won’t be as thick in the streets of Boise.


Apply these Do’s and Don’ts and you’re likely going to have a great Valentine’s Day. I’m in your exact shoes — trust me. I’m choosing to be happy for everyone in love, and I’m especially choosing to be happy for my current status in life. I’m single, meeting wonderful people here in Boise, and open to meeting Mr. Right-for-Me. I’ll be struck by Cupid’s Arrow once again in life, and until then, I’ll be Dating in the BOI.


 

Don’t forget to grab  my #BOIVDayBucketList by clicking HERE.

 

Dating in the BOI: Mr. Emerald City

App used: Tinder

1st Date: 13th Street Pub and Grill

Status: No 2nd Date


I’ve been to Seattle once, and I haven’t met anyone originally from there. [ Insert Mr. Emerald City.]


This weather encourages me to explore these dating apps even more. Not because I’m desperate for a date (umm, no), but because I’m entertaining my boredom due to this thing called cabin fever.

Around the start of the (first) snowmageddon, I went on Tinder to kill my boredom vibes. I ended up matching with Mr. Emerald City.


  • Tall? Yes. Really tall, actually
  • Smart? On paper, yes.
  • Good bio? Sure. It let me know he likes yoga and dancing

After matching,  I got the standard introductory message I hope you’re having a lovely evening.

Hmm, OK. Let me pause here for a sec.

This sweet and oh-so-nice message is the honey. There may be moments where a man means to send a genuine messages with adjectives like lovely and wonderful. I’m learning that not all honey is sweet.

Unpause.


After the usual back and forth banter, we exchanged numbers. What I appreciate about Mr. Emerald City was his eagerness to talk & initiate meeting– unlike those time wasters I’ve interacted with in the past.


Our schedules allowed for us to meet the following Monday after matching. The place chosen was 13th Street Pub and Grill.


Yes, a new place to feature for my blog!  I thought.


He told me it’s his usual spot and a place where he frequents.

Note to self.

Monday morning comes around, and he surprised me with a friendly hope you’re having a good morning text message. Hmm — that’s different. Haven’t received one of this type of messages in a long time. In years past, it’s usually been from someone I’m seriously getting to know.


I’ll admit — I do enjoy receiving sweet nothings like that: seeing how my day is going; good morning texts. Hmm, will my dating in the BOI take a turn for the better? Only time will tell.


It’s 8:30pm and time for our date. I get to 13th Street a little late, and walked around looking for Mr. Emerald City. He texted me earlier saying how he’s in the corner sitting at a table. The Pub isn’t the largest pub, and you’ll notice someone sitting alone. After walking around and coming up short, I eventually asked the waitress if someone was waiting alone.


The waitress looks at me somewhat perplexed, and answers with no, no one is sitting alone.


Dammit, was I stood up? 


I grabbed my phone to confirm he said 13th Street Pub. I mean, I’d look like a fool if we were to meet someplace else. After confirming, I sent him a text hey I’m here.


No more than 5 seconds later, I looked down and saw an incoming call from Mr. Emerald City. I picked up and he apologized profusely and said he got confused where we were to meet and how his day was so crazy.


Hmm, I bet he was worried I’d leave. He should of been.


Like he told me on the phone, he made it to 13th Street Pub in 5 minutes. I decided to wait for him near the fire pit. If you haven’t been to 13th Street Pub, it has this beautiful fire pit in the patio. It’s perfect for this winter weather.


While waiting for Mr. Emerald City, I snapped some photos (of course!), and checked my ‘gram. It was a way for me to keep distracted from those first date jitters. Believe it or not, I still get those!


With what seemed like forever, I was greeted by this extremely tall man with a Colgate smile. I couldn’t help but to say to myself damn he is tall.  

If you couldn’t tell from my other previous posts, height is a weakness of mine.


Mr. Emerald City  was wearing a beanie (a piece of clothing I never really cared for because , well, who the hell wears them in Florida?!), a fitted jacket, and some adidas. In addition to his height,  I also noticed his ridiculously green and bright eyes.


I tried my BEST to refrain from being shy. I tend to get that way initially on a 1st date. I eventually get more comfortable as time goes on.


Once he sat down, we ordered drinks &  eased into our conversation.  Mr. Emerald City was engaged, made me laugh, and asked me questions giving me the impression he wanted to get to know me.


After 2 hours passed and the bill was paid, Mr. Emerald City said hey, I’m having a good time & I don’t want the evening to end; want to listen to music at  my place?.

Let me pause — again.


This isn’t my first time at the dating rodeo.   I’m not in college where I go to my crush’s dorm room, watch a movie, and accidentally fall asleep. I’m talking to someone I matched with on Tinder. What do you think “let’s go to my place” means?


What do you think I did?


I’ll keep you all in suspense.

I’ll say this. All that sweet talking ended. I haven’t heard from him since.


Does it matter? I’m not sure. Boise is small, and I know I’ll see him again. Especially when he shared some of his interested and how they overlap with mine.


As I’m writing this blog, I can’t help but to laugh. Laughing because these dating experiences are moments which highlight my single life here in the BOI. Sometimes, you’ll experience this whole bait & switch effect. The person will attract you with some sweetness (this goes both ways, male and female) and  willing  to show some genuine interest. But it may not last after the 1st date, depending on how it ends.


Update:

No word from him. I was attracted to him and all, but something was missing. Maybe it was that lackluster kiss towards the end of the night. I don’t know. But I’m confident there’ll be a time where I’ll run into him. And when I do, it’ll be a quick hello (with confidence) and a slow goodbye. No time for small talk.


Click HERE to read more of my Dating in the BOI stories. Don’t forget to join my Boise Bucket List community today!

Dating in the BOI: 6 Type of Men on POF

As a single woman with limited time, I’ll admit that I’ve downloaded a few share of dating apps. I see these as tools as opposed to strictly relying on them to meet people for dates.


Whether you’re a single new to Boise (like me) or recently single Boisean, part of the dating game is the initial interactions. That said, here’s my take on the 6 type of men you’ll find on Plenty of Fish:

 

Mr. Sales-y. At first, he seems all sweet and innocent. He’ll say sweet nothings like “I read your profile and you seem so sweet and smart” or “You are absolutely beautiful and stunning.” You might be thinking “wait, aren’t these how you should address someone?” Well…maybe. Most likely these type of men copy & paste their messages and send them out in masses to all women regardless of whether or not they’ve read their profile. How do I know this? Because my profile doesn’t really say much, yet I sound sweet and smart? Hmm…


Mr. Muscles. His POF profile is inundated with muscle selfies. He takes the lyrics to the song “Let’s Take a Selfie” to heart. Shirtless selfie in the car. Shirtless selfie in the bathroom. Oh wait – shirtless selfie while eating! Can’t forget that. Be prepared for a message like “hey”. He’ll be under the notion his muscles + a generic “hey” warrant a response. Hey, maybe it will for you.

Mr. Straight-Forward. I feel like every dating app has one of these: a man who is blunt and straight to the point. Here’s some actual messages I received

  • Huhha Hubba! Nice rack 🙂
  • I love a sexual woman
  • Describe your sex drive in one word

Mr. Time Suck. It’s that guy that you initially have a good conversation with, but ultimate it turns boring. It’s the daily “hey” message. You entertain him because he seems nice and engaging. After awhile, the conversation becomes stale, all filled with “heys” and never leaves POF land. No substance, no depth, no excitement. Ultimately, you need to make the decision to cut him because the conversation is a time suck.

Mr. No-Pic. Yes ladies, you’ll see accounts where his photo is the default POF “grayed out” photo. His answer to “what I’m looking for” is “isn’t looking for anything or nothing serious.” Most likely, this man is married or in a relationship and uses this app to perpetuate his devious ways. He may even be as direct as stating that he’s in a relationship and looking for an escape. Yuck!

Mr. Jail Bird. Be prepared to see photos of inmates. How can you initially tell? In the background of their photos, you’ll see steel bunk beds, sexy calendars on the wall, or even bars. The man are dressed from head-to-toe in gray sweatshirt/sweatpants. Now, if you can’t tell they are inmates, it won’t take you long to figure it out. In the comments section, you’ll see “please send all inquires to: ______ Correctional Facility”. I’m not kidding you!


I haven’t had the best luck with POF, honestly. I truly believe it’s filled with Plenty of Fakes. But I’m still on it in hopes that I’ll meet a decent person, at least worth going out on a date. I’ll admit though — the app can be wildly addicting because you get notified when someone “likes” you or “wants to meet you” or messages you.

Stay tuned for a future blog post about the type of questions you’ll asked when on POF.


Want to read my personal dating stories? Click here!