dating in the BOI

As a professional woman new to the city, I did what any single newbie would: download dating apps! Well, maybe not every single, but a good amount.

Because I constantly travel for my job, I don’t have enough time to get out and mix & mingle. As a result, I decided to first download Tinder, then expand my chances and downloaded POF (Plenty of Fish) & OK Cupid.

With some free time on my hands, I plan to put these apps into good use! Follow me as I document my Dating Chronicles in the BOI. Enjoy!

 


 Date #1: Mr. Hot Rod

Date: Home-cooked meal

App used: Tinder

Status: No 2nd date

I met Mr. Hot Rod on Tinder, and he seemed rather interested. Why I “swiped right” is because his initial message was gentleman-like and friendly. His photos were pretty interesting too. I call him Mr. Hot Rod because he’s into car restoration (any of my future entries will not include real names, but rather a unique quality of the person).

After exchanging a few messages on Tinder, it ultimately led to the exchange of phone numbers (big step!). Because I was on the road, we couldn’t schedule a time to meet up. Once I returned to Boise (sometime around Halloween), I texted him and suggested we meet up for coffee. In response, he suggested I come by for some home-cooked BBQ.

Hey, I don’t mind some BBQ was my initial thought. I didn’t question the fact that this first meet & greet would be at his house (in the future, I won’t be doing anything of the sort).

I headed over after work (early evening), pulled up and noticed 1) how much shorter he was and 2) how badly he smelled like cigarettes!

Side note: this is why stating your height matters when on Tinder; it helps prevent awkward moments like the one I experienced when I hopped out of my car.

 

Being the good sport that I am, I proceeded to follow Mr. Hot Rod into his home. The waif of cigarette smoke intensified as I approached the front door. I was greeted by a cute, handsome doggie. He pretty much kept me company the entire time I was  visiting.

 

The BBQ wasn’t bad at all, and neither was the conversation. Wondering what we talked about? Well, here it is:

  • How much he missed his ex (ladies, he even broke into tears talking about how much he missed his ex)
  • Where he  met his ex (at a strip club)
  • How he hasn’t heard from the mother of his child in years! (yes, years)
  • How he is tired of Boise

I should have charged him for this therapy session because I was his relationship counselor for the evening.

It’s OK — I think our conversation helped Mr. Hot Rod address his issues. I believe (and expressed to him) that he is using Tinder as a “quick fix” rather than addressing his true feelings for his ex-girlfriend.

After seeing how late it was (particularly for a work night), I thanked him for the BBQ, his hospitality, and said I had a “great time.” [ I put “great time” in parenthetical because it’s a standard reply when the date was OK]

Mr. Hot Rod walked me out, gave me a hug, complimented me for actually being a reliable person off Tinder, and said goodnight. I jumped in my car & drove off.

Won’t be going to the racing track to watch him anytime soon.

 


Date #2: Mr. Fitted Cap

Dates:

  1. Woodland Empire Ale Craft + Dinner @ Buffalo Wild Wings
  2. Neurolux + Buffalo Wild Wings
  3. Probst for a drink + Piehole for pizza + Tory Lanez Concert @ Knitting Factory

App used: Tinder

Status: M.I.A.

Mr. Fitted Cap. He’s quite the character. For every date we went on, he wore a fitted cap with his long hair tucked in a pony tail. He took off his fitted cap once.


I first met Mr. Fitted Cap on Tinder, and I didn’t really pay him much mind.  What attracted me to his oh-so-empty bio was two simple numbers: 6’4″. I saw the height and was 1) extremely thankful someone listed his height and 2) I can wear heels if I ever met him in-person.

To my surprise, Mr. Fitted Cap messaged me and we had a good dialogue going. Like with Mr. Hot Rod,  we ended up exchanging telephone numbers and messaging each other. Again, like with Mr. Hot Rod I had to wait until I returned from a work trip before we could schedule a meetup.


Date 1: Woodland Empire 

When conversations go from Tinder –> text –> in-person, I aim to have the first meeting as casual and comfortable as possible. This time, I suggested to meet at a local happy hour at Woodland Empire.

Woodland Empire is a really cool local brewery with a unique history. It was founded by a husband and wife team. The name “Woodland Empire” is their tongue-in-cheek way of saying “City of Trees.” . It’s a small yellow building tucked in on Front Street. It has a good selection of craft beer — check it out for your #BOIdatenightbucketlist


With the happy hour dwindling down, I sat at the bar anxiously waiting for Mr. Fitted Cap to arrive. I received a text from him telling me he arrived. I looked around and answered in my text where? What seemed like forever, I finally got a reply text, and Mr. Fitted Cap realized he was at the wrong bar! Eeek.


Some ten minutes went by, and right when I looked up from the bar, a tall and handsome man wearing a fitted cap walks over my way. He quietly asked me if I’m me. I answered yes with a shy smile, and we shook hands. Mr. Fitted Cap joined me at the bar, and we started to talk. Our conversation flowed effortlessly. I felt comfortable and at ease. I also couldn’t help his distinct features: long hair in a ponytail, high cheek bones, and light eyes.


Our conversation soon took a turn like many first dates do: where to eat? He suggested Buffalo Wild Wings because of its weekly Thursday special: 1/2 off wings. We walked over to BWW near the Grove, waited for table, and continued our conversation.


As the end of our date neared, hear walked me over to where I was parked. Being the outgoing-yet-shy person that I am (yes, I know it’s a unique coupling of traits!), I said hopefully we can do this again. No hug, no goodbye kiss – nothing. I told you I was shy.


Date 2: Neurolux + BWW

After what I thought was a successful date, I was happy to hear from Mr. Fitted Cap again (I believe it was a few days later). We agreed to meet up once again in downtown. He chose the spot, and rather nice one at that. I met him after a non-profit board meeting at Neurolux.

What I enjoyed about Mr. Fitted Cap was his eagerness to entertain my desire to try a new place in Boise. He obliged my request for each individual date.


If you’ve never been to Neurolux, I strongly suggest this be on your #boisebucketlist. It can be for a date night, girls’ night out, or by yourself  — it’s an ideal chill spot. I arrived somewhat past our agreed upon time. As I walked in, I recognized Mr. Fitted Cap. How? Ummm…. must I state the obvious?


We smiled at each other, and I was definitely happy we made it to Date #2. He bought me a drink, we chatted some more, and enjoyed each other’s company. When I came back from visiting the ladies’ room, I noticed he was on his cell phone texting away.  Hey, I met him on Tinder so it didn’t surprise me he would be talking to someone else. Much to my surprise, he looked up from his phone and asked did you mind going to BWW with me? I said yes. He continued and said well, it’s with my brother and my friend from work. I told him I wouldn’t mind as long as he didn’t mind.


We get to BWW, and I meet his brother and his co-worker. To my delight, they were very enjoyable and great company! We laughed and had a good time. His brother even hugged me when I was leaving to go home. Mr. Fitted Cap walked me to my car, we hugged, and I was off. (no, there wasn’t a good night kiss…lol).


 

Date 3: Tory Lanez Concert @ Knitting Factory

I do have to state that this was indeed the highlight of my dates thus far. Knitting Factory in Boise is a comfortably sized music venue with 2 floors: one for general admission and the other for 21+. Although both levels are ideal for a date night out, the upper level is where you have assigned table seats, your own bar + server, and an opportunity to sit closely to your date — like I did 😉

For those who are unfamiliar with Tory Lanez, he’s a Toronto-based artist who sings Say It and Luv.  He was touring for the I Told You So tour.


Mr. Fitted Cap’s brother and his girlfriend where there too! The table right next to us. It wasn’t like a double date or anything, but it was cool to have them joining us.
With drinks in our hand and good music running thru our ears, I was definitely feeling the good vibes. Toward the end of the night, he held my hand and put one arm around me. GULP — talk about a good feeling. (Side note: I’m a sucker for holding hands and other means of non-verbal communication. Close hugs, eye contact, and being physical close to someone I’m feeling with is usually a good feeling).


As Tory ended the concert swinging from the balcony rails on the 2nd floor (which, BTW, spoke to his awesome energy and entertaining qualities of the concept), it was time to head on out. Mr. Fitted Cap and I didn’t want out night to end, so walked around for a bit. One thing about me, when a man is tall (I’m rather tall) and we walk hand-in-hand, I melt. Yes, I become that girly-girl who feels safe and secure. Admit it — you would too!

We ended up hanging out some more. This time, our night ended on a high note. We said our goodbyes and I was off to my apartment. We texted a little more once we got to our respective homes.


UPDATE:

After some text messages after our third date, we didn’t have anything planned because Thanksgiving week was approaching. He told me he was going out of town to visit family. He suggested we see Dr. Strange when he returned.
Still waiting lol

What’s weird is that my last communication was him telling me he had 1) 3 kids and 2) he was in a relationship for a year and a half. What made it random was the timing. After not hearing from him for some days, I all of a sudden got a loaded text from him telling me all of this.


I’m still wondering if he felt compelled to message me such a text after I asked him if he wanted kids during a conversation at the Knitting Factory (the whole “kid thing” isn’t an issue for me. I don’t ask unless I need to. I dated someone with two kids, and it doesn’t bother me if Mr. Fitted Cap does). It took him some time to answer my question, and I said “I guess not lol.”


So, if you’re wondering, Mr. Fitted Cap is M.I.A. I truly think that if he was in a relationship for a year and a 1/2 (which, I would assume ended recently), he most likely went on Tinder as an immediate fix. Maybe he and his ex reconnected (I can totally relate — I’ve done that before!).

Too bad. Thought we had a good connection!


 

Date #3: Mr. Do-Gooder

Date: Neurolux + PieHole

App used: POF

Status: No future dates planned


Plenty of Fish has been such a fishing excursion (pun intended). I feel that the people on this app are plenty of FAKES! All you get are tons of messages , but when it’s time to step up these men disappear. It’s rather annoying, to be honest!

Fortunately,  one person did step up and invited me out for a date. I call him Mr. Do-Gooder because of his exceptional work and commitment to his job. He currently works for a non-profit that assists with relocation efforts for refugees and asylum-seekers. His work is inspiring, and it shows his views as a person.

After some back-and-forth messages, we exchanges numbers to make communication easier.

Side note: moving a conversation from online to the cell phone doesn’t necessarily make communication “easier.” It’s a coy way to get the digits!

Originally, we planned to meet on a Tuesday evening at 10 Barrel Brewing since I’ve never been there. Unfortunately, our schedules didn’t permit such meeting. With his work schedule and my car being out of commission, our original time to meet wasn’t happening. We ended up rescheduling for the following Tuesday.


Just like my date with Mr. Fitted Cap, I drove over to Neurolux after running some errands. I ended up arriving earlier than Mr. Do-Gooder, which was fine because I was able to enjoy the bands who were doing soundcheck. On this night, Neurolux hosted Radio Boise and their weekly local band showcase.

Right when I received a text from Mr. Do-Gooder that he was 1) running late and 2) his phone was going to die,  I looked up and was greeted with a smile and a “hey, are you__?” We ended up shaking hands (yes, I like to shake hands before I hug. I know it sounds weird, but hey — it’s been a long time since I’ve actually dated!).


We hung out at Neurolux for a bit, then ended up leaving to grab a bite to eat. Piehole is starting to become my de facto place to eat while on a date. It’s quick, delicious, easy & inexpensive.  Because I’m on this cleanse and eating healthy routine, I ended only getting 1 slice and a bottle of water. Mr. Do-Gooder paid (nice!), and we grabbed a seat in the eating area.

We actually had a good conversation: our upbringing, personal believes, professional goals, things to do in Boise. We sat there for about 2 hours! After realizing I paid $5 to see live music at Neurloux, I suggested we head back.


While walking over to Neurloux, I had my hands clasped together to keep them warm. Mr. Do-Gooder noticed, and asked me if my hands were OK. I definitely didn’t catch that he wanted to hold hands until he said, let me warm up those hands for you.

OK, this is going to sound horrible & I get it. But holding hands and being close is something I have to feel naturally. I don’t like it being forced in that way. Maybe it’s me after being out of the dating scene for some time. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t fully attracted to Mr. Do-Gooder. Maybe it’s a combination of both. Either way, I held his hand for a brief second and quickly pulled away. It didn’t feel right 😦


We stayed at Neurolux for about 1/2 an hour. In hindsight, I feel bad that I was on my phone. But I wanted to get great content for my @boise_bucketlist feed! Plus, it was hard to have a conversation with the loud music in the background. When I realized how late it was, I told him it was time for me to go (it was a work night, and I have to drive a distance to get home). We walked out together, and he suggested he walk me to my car. I told him there was no need (my car was no more than 30 steps away), gave him a hug  & walked away.


Update:

I haven’t heard from Mr. Do-Gooder, and I believe it’s because he felt I wasn’t attracted/interested (the rejection of him walking me to my car; holding hands). Despite our great conversation & good talk, Mr. Do-Gooder wouldn’t be wrong. I hate saying this because it’s the not-so-friendly part of dating. Trust me — I’ve been in a position when someone hasn’t been into me after a 1st date. I can see Mr. Do-Gooder being a wonderful friend, someone I can hang out with when I explore Boise.

Because of this date, I learned about some cool things to do:

  1. Boise Weekly has an app.  The app gives you a calendar of events you can download to your phone calendar. Pretty neat!
  2. Treefort Fest: I heard about this festival, but to hear his first-hand experience piqued my interest in going. He suggested I take off some days from work to truly experience this 5-day long event. Duly noted.
  3. Neurolux & Radio Boise: I listen to Radio Boise during my drive to work, and it’s becoming one of my favorite radio stations. The music is new, fresh, and worth a listen. Every Tuesday Radio Boise hosts a showcase at Neurolux. I wouldn’t have known but for this date.

To Mr. Do-Gooder: if you’re reading this, I hope we can still get to know each other as friends. You have an outgoing personality & a warm spirit.

 

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