Dating in the BOI: Mr. Officer 

 

App: None

# of Dates: 2 (ish)

Status: No Contact


A few weeks ago,  I went to watch a football game at a local sports bar. I decided to smile more, be more approachable, and be open to small talk. I saw this so you can have some context.

Raised in south Florida — population heavily influenced with the sounds and beats of other cultures — I’ve been conditioned that when I go out, you don’t really smile. You may flirt with your eyes and a smirk, but it’s unlike a sports bar experience. What I learned last year, local bars are heavy on the small talk and beer flowing. I’m not saying it’s new to me given I lived in Portland, ME. But I don’t really hang out at sports bars.  But after asking people around where single locals hang out, I decided I had to step out my comfort zone.


My decision to step out my comfort zone included being more approachable, drinking “buds” and engaging in small talk. This time, it must have worked. I was outgoing, smiled, and ended up chatting with a tall, blue-eyed man with a pretty smile and a sense of humor. His way of breaking the ice was to joke that my friend took his seat. I played along with the joke, and before I knew it, my friend and I were sitting 3rd row, 50th yard line at the BSU game. I’ll admit – the game was so much fun, especially since my friend never been to a BSU game.


If you’re wondering, he had extra tickets because his date at the time cancelled last minute.

Insert violins.

Through our small talk conversation, he mentioned that he was a deputy sheriff. He even made a cute joke about “officer and lawyer” when I told him I went to law school.
After the game, my friend and I ended up back at the sports bar to find Mr. Officer to thank him for the tickets. Lo and behold, he was at the bar. Alone.

His friends decided to take the party on the road.


Mr. Officer, my friend and I decided to head downtown to grab something to eat. We originally wanted to go to The Reef, but to our dismay it was closed.


We ended up at Old Chicago for some late-night grub. I wasn’t in the mood for pizza, but I made it work. Toward the end of the night , Mr. Officer asked if we could “hang out” sometime and asked for my number. I smiled and without hesitation, gave him my number.

Sounds like a good story so far, right? Nothing crazy.


Well, except for him telling us that he is “fixed” and can’t have any more kids. He doesn’t want any more and rather date someone who already has kids.


Stop. Say what now?


Ummm.. first of all, too soon to mention that? Maybe. Even if not too soon, a lot during dinner. I don’t think we even got to the “ex” part of the conversation yet.


And secondly, I didn’t want to dive into whether I wanted children during that conversation. We were having fun, drinking, and eating. ( I do want children,  by the way. In case you were wondering).

I didn’t want to make that comment a big deal because I just met him and we had yet to go on our first date.


First Date Jitters

Because I didn’t meet him on Tinder or some other ridiculous app , I was legitimately nervous about my date. For those who have met me in-person, I’m outgoing and enjoy meeting people. But there are moments when I get shy. I mean shyyyyyyy. Like that I-need-to-look-away type of shy.  Mr. Officer suggested we go see It the Movie whenever I returned from my work trip.

Oohhh, scary movie for a first date? Yes I love it.

Oh c’mon , it’s ideal. You get to flinch and get close to your date. Which is exactly what I did. We first met at the Matador at the Village. Nothing like an adult beverage to calm your nerves. Soon thereafter, we headed over to the movie theater to get our seats. Mr. Officer was a gentleman and paid, for both the drinks and the movie tickets.

Aside from It being a strange and creepy movie, I’d said the first date was a success.


During the week prior to our movie date, and afterwards toward my birthday, he kept texting me.

Asking me when I was going to Vegas for work because he wouldn’t mind joining me.

Asking me if I ever been to Haunted World because we could go together.

Asking me if I ever been to Jackpot, NV  for gambling.

Asking me how my day was at work.

If you haven’t caught on, he would do nothing but ask me about future plans and seemed eager to do them together.

Again – nothing is weird with this dating story so far, right? You’re probably thinking

Diana…c’mon now. Get to the good stuff.

Fine, you got it!


Never Been With A  ___________ Before

Disclaimer: the next few sections I’m going to be talking about my own experiences in Boise that I haven’t spoken about in my dating blogs. I didn’t feel the need to because I wanted to keep my blog posts entertaining. But I think with this recent dating experience,  it’s fair to shed light on a few things.

On my birthday, Mr. Officer offered to meet me at one of the local bars for a birthday drink. He ended up meeting me at Hannah’s and bought me a drink. He was out with friends to watch BSU play. All was fine & dandy until he started talking about how he never lived outside of Idaho. He probably won’t anytime soon given his custody arrangement with his ex-wife.

Not strange at all. I know plenty of people who lived in one state all their life. 

Little did I know that this comment was leading to another statement of how he never been with (which he later corrected by saying “hung out with”) a woman of color. He said “black girl” then again corrected himself and said “Spanish woman.”


Hmmm….what to say to that?

My only way to respond was with oh yeah? That’s interesting. he continued to say that he always liked women of different backgrounds but Boise didn’t really have much when he was growing up. I thought

Ok, good to know. I appreciate your candor and honesty.


The conversation stayed on race for a little longer. He asked me if I dated outside my race, and I laughed saying I’m from south Florida, where it’s a melting pot.  I directly answered by saying yes, I dated someone who is white.  Fortunately, the conversation shifted when a song came on (Despacito, no less).


Before I knew it, it was time for me to head home. My brother (fortunately) met me at Tom Grainey’s and we walked to our car.


Here’s the thing: I understand that I don’t live in South Florida. I’m cognizant of where I live. I lived in New England where diversity is not as prominent as West Palm Beach, Florida.  Despite this awareness, it’s not always easy to deal with certain uncomfortable situations:

  • My curly hair has been “patted” and touched like I’m a cat. A man while leaving a bar stroked my head and said it’s so soft like my cat’s fur
  • I was minding my business at a local bar (I won’t mention where), when I felt someone grab my right arm forcing me to dance with him to Despacito (I guess this song is an open invitation to dance with anyone who looks Hispanic because of course we want to dance to it). Rather than acknowledging that he startled me, he whispered in my ear that I need to relax and that he wasn’t like every “corny white guy” in Boise.
  • Could I cross off being with a black girl off his bucket list? (no, this is not a joke)
  • Being told that he voted for Obama and does that qualify him to make me want to date him. Soon after asking me that, he dropped an entire PBR on my leg with no intention of picking it up.
  • Constantly told how exotic I look (I guess it’s a compliment, but not when it’s repeated over and over by the same person and the inappropriate time & place).
  • Never seen a black girl with freckles before

I say this because I want to give you some context to what I have to say next. It’s not like I haven’t been told something similar to what I’ve mentioned before. It just seems to me it’s been happening more frequently than I’d like. For those who are open-minded when it comes to dating, please understand this. If you meet someone from another race or ethnicity from yours, and they are showing interest, I don’t think it’s wise to start off any  any discussion about “have you been with a ________ before?” Unless the person asks. If I asked Mr. Officer whether he’s dating/talked to someone outside his race, I’m curious and want to have a discussion with it.  I’m only speaking from my experience, but that type of comment makes the person uncomfortable.


And this goes two ways. My 2nd serious boyfriend in my life is white. He is 6’4, with deep blue eyes, and surfer tan skin. He was also raised in Naperville, IL and apparently raised around all types of cultures/races. That said, when I first met him, I kept saying comments in a joking way like I never dated a white guy before or you must like mixed girls if you’re talking to me.

I’m cringing as I write these comments because I can’t believe I said that.


My ex finally said something and told me it made him uncomfortable when I said those comments. It made him feel as though race was a big part of our relationship. I failed to realize he constantly thought he wasn’t good enough because of his race. Or he felt insecure when we would be out in public (yes, even in Fort Lauderdale, FL).  I didn’t need to add to his feelings by making my own insensitive comments, regardless if a joke or not.


I was younger, of course, but I learned a valuable lesson then. That lesson is what I brought with me to Portland, ME. I ended up having some weird situations while I lived there too. But the situations were few and far between.


 

Fast-forward to now, I don’t talk to Mr. Officer anymore. He did text me apologizing for being MIA because he’s been sick. And I got some random SnapChat photo of his groin area (he was wearing jeans). He immediately messaged me saying “Sorry, my SnapChat is acting up.”  My brother thinks it was mistake photo, but still.

Weird.

 


 

I’m taking a break from dating in Boise. I truly am. I have so much more positive elements in my life to focus on  that dating isn’t a priority. At least not in Boise. If I end up going on a date, I need for him to “wow” me. Make me stop in my tracks. Impress me with his desire to spend time & get to know me. Until then, I highly doubt I’ll have any dating stories to share in the near future. Don’t worry – I’ll have some fun Dating in the BOI stories to share that are not mine. I’ll even host some Dating in the BOI activities.

But as for me, I’m signing off as the primary dating blogger.

 

 

Advertisements

Dating in the BOI: Ms. Negative

img_2892

 

Dating in the BOI is BACK!

I know – it’s been some time. I just haven’t been really dating.

I go out.

I get a “wink” on my inactive Match (plow to get me to return)

I might get a “match” on that Tinder app.

Nothing blog worthy.

Till now.


 

From now on,  I’m switching up the game. I’m sharing YOUR dating stories in the BOI.  YOU have probably so many to share, and this is dedicated to you.

Today’s blog entry is about Ms. Negative.  Glenn went on a date with Ms. Negative, and this is his story…


 

App Used: Tinder

# of Dates: 1

Dater: Glenn, a 26 year old 6’2 white male living in Boise, Idaho


 

I’ve decided to write about the
dating life so that you can understand how freaking weird it can be.
Here are my wonderful stories.

I met Ms. Negative on Tinder (this will be a recurring theme), she was
Cuban, cute and claimed to be an actress. We matched up and then did
the typical tinder dance of texting and snapping each other for a week
to make sure we weren’t being catfished. Honestly everything seemed to
be looking pretty good, so we agreed to meet for dinner in The
Village[ of Meridian] .


We had agreed to meet at 7 so I showed up at 6:30 and
awkwardly sat in my car for 25 minutes and then called her to say

I had just shown up.


Surprisingly she didn’t answer my call so I shot
her a text in which she responded  lost my credit card. I can’t come. 

 

Alright… I wasn’t really expecting her to pay, but whatever.

 

I explained that to her that she wouldn’t be paying, but she claims she’d
still need it. Fair enough. Well,  20 mins later she finally finds her
credit card and I said I’d be willing to wait (1st hint that I should
have left). What I didn’t know is that she lived 45 minutes away, so
at around 8:30 she finally shows up.


We finally sat down at the bar to get a drink and she of course
orders the strongest and largest margarita I’ve ever seen. After the
first awkward 5 minutes she begins to open up. To most people this
would mean talking about your goals, your friends, school or whatever
other normal non crazy people talk about.

Nope, not even close.

Ms. Negative on the other hand decided to tell me about how she’s still in love with her ex, how she hates her parents, how she wishes she could afford to go to Australia and that Idaho is the worst  (2nd hint i should have left)


This goes on for a solid 15 minutes before I finally interject and ask if there’s anything positive happening in her life? She just claimed her life is the worst and that she couldn’t wait to leave this “shit hole state.”


 

During her entire negative and depressing monologue I
managed to share that I was getting ready to interview with the Police
Department the next week .


 

As the “date” (if you even wanna call it that) progressed so did her
consumption of margaritas. She was three deep and I could tell that
they were taking their toll. We continued to only talk about her for
another 35 minutes (3rd hint I should have left) when she says she’s
this was somewhat fun, but she was ready to leave. Now I should
explain it was in November in Idaho, so it’s like 14 degrees out. I
did the polite thing and walked her to her car. Classic me I had
parked on the complete other side of the village, so here I was
standing outside her car freezing my balls off.


She offered to give me a ride, but followed up with

Oh you’re trying to be a cop right? Is
it a problem that I have like a lot of drugs in my car

I said

oh like I get it everyone smokes weed, no worries.

She hit me with

nah like I have a lot of different things in there.

 

I got real sketched out and made a break for it.

No goodbye

No kiss

No hug

 

Just me making a b line for my car. You never realize how huge the village is
until you have to cross it in icy 14 degree weather. When I made it home safe and decided to ghost her (the old tinder cold shoulder), yet two days later she reached out to me to explain

I wasn’t the one for her

 

Right…


 

Well I wish Ms. Negativity nothing but the best in her journey for whatever she’s looking for and hey maybe she’ll find peace in Australia, her ex, all of the drugs in her car or margaritas that she apparently really likes.


 

For me I guess I’ll just
keep swiping right

 


 

Got a good dating story in the BOI? Submit your story anonymously HERE:  https://goo.gl/forms/nwRZ1znLxFJ26ylH3

Dating in the BOI: Ghost of the Ex

Being single — whether it’s in Boise or another city — there’s moments where you feel like there’s a ghost of boyfriend (or girlfriends’) past.


What do I mean?

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on my recent dating experiences and the takeaway from each one. I feel it’s essential given I’m not having the most positive experiences.


(BTW: there’s a few stories I have yet to share. Stay tuned!).


One common denominator is that none of them have elevated to a level of genuine seriousness.  I mean, there is one person I chatted with on the phone (a must for me if I’m investing in getting to know a guy, especially if I can’t see him physically). That won’t lead to anything, especially after meeting him before my trip to Asia.


This is where ghost of boyfriend’s past comes in.


I don’t share much on my blog about my personal life, but I think it’s important for this post.


My most recent relationship was the one where I underwent the most change: love, adoration, pain, hurt, sorrow, laughter.


Backstory:

I met Mr. Handsome (that was my name for him in my cellphone) in late 2012, during my last year of law school. He was my escape. After being highly engaged as a student, I was in need of my own space from my law school duties.

Insert Mr. Handsome.

  • Tall (6’4)
  • Older by 3 years (which I prefer)
  • Dreads
  • Father
  • Worked in education

Over the course of November & December, Mr. Handsome and I had a connection that i hadn’t had since my last boyfriend.


We:

  • Talked on the phone every night during the week (he had his daughter on the weekend due to a temporary custody visit schedule)
  • Met up at a location between our respective places we lived ( i lived in Portland, ME and he lived in Auburn, ME)
  • Usually met either at the LL Bean in Freeport or a McDonald’s in Gray, ME
  • Talked for hours ( I remember he and I being tired the next day because we were out too late)

After about 6 dates or so, he asked me while we were packing up from a night of bowling:

Mr. Handsome: Can we be daters?

Me: Daters?

Mr. Handsome: Yes (shyly).


We’ve been on 6 dates (Mr. Handsome loves numbers and he would remember dates & periods of time).

I thought it was cute, because he was basically asking if we could be exclusive.


That was the beginning. During the course of our relationship, I thought I found my person. He was corky (some thought weird) but ideal for my outgoing personality, introduced me to his interests, we had our own language and ways of talking to each other, and our own routine.


But lots happened in between:

  • Met his little girl (took 6 months to meet her, which I’m proud about)
  • Met his family
  • Moved in together
  • He won primary custody of his daughter
  • Broke up
  • Moved out
  • Got back together
  • Broke up
  • Got engaged
  • Broke up
  • Moved away

Yes, did you catch that? We were engaged.


See, the thing is that our relationship was complex, filled with raw emotions, real substantive heavy issues, and lots of back and forth. I thought engagement would be the best next step.

No, unfortunately not.


I’ll just say this: sometimes you can’t fall in love with the potential or hope of what the person will become. Mr. Handsome had (hopefully past tense) deeper issues that would rise to the surface . I don’t question whether or not he cared for me, but he couldn’t reciprocate the love I needed in return.


Thus, broken engagement left me distraught and having to leave the life I built in Maine.


Now, I’m here in Boise, living a life I always imagined. Working in a field I love, enjoying new experiences, meeting new people.


So why am I saying all of this?


I know a few of you who read my blogs (thank you!), whether married or single, go through the motions of relationships. If you’re single like me, there will be moments where you think of the times with those from your past.


Last year before moving to Boise, I wouldn’t entertain those thoughts. I buried them so deep inside, I’d forget about my time with my ex, the life we could of had, and the life I left in Maine.


With these recent dating experiences, I’m  realizing I’m attempting to absolve myself with any thoughts of my previous life. Most of these dates have been fillers — people I entertain for the hell of it.


The issue with this method is that nothing is absolved. It’s a temporary fix. None of them give me that feeling of Yes, I’d like to learn more about him. Don’t get me wrong, some I’ve had a connection with. Maybe it’s a Virgo thing or maybe it’s my personality (or a little bit of both), I don’t quickly fall for someone. Honestly, it takes me quite some time to establish a real connection with another person. I do not share the “real” me until I feel they are worthy.


I’m using this post to celebrate what I’ve got from my past relationship with Mr. Handsome, and remember that I’ll meet someone again that’ll give me that feeling.


Artifacts from the Ex:

  • Enjoy watching English Premier league and US Soccer
  • Hard to listen to Bob Marley Songs
  • My jeep (his dad helped me select it when car shopping)
  • Blue Memphis sweatshirt
  • My gray calf boots (his mom gave them to me)
  • Teenage Mutant Ninja Tirtles (his daughter loved watching the cartoon)
  • Can’t drink Blue Moon (his fav)
  • Hard to look at lead singer of Rage Against the Machine (someone said he looks like him when he had dreads)
  • Appreciation for running (his fav way to stay in shape)
  • Learning that I cannot wait for the day to become a mother

When dating someone who has children from a previous relationship, it can be challenging — especially if you break up. The hardest part of the breakup was saying goodbye to his little girl. I lived with her for over a year. My bond with her was deep, rich, and impacted me in ways I can never truly express in words. From her hugs to her personalized handmade letters, she gave me a snippet into what life may be like as a (then) step mom. Saying goodbye was heart wrenching and a moment of my life I would not want to re-live.


Moving forward, I plan to focus on my priorities. And I’ll admit (finally), dating isn’t one of them. I’m no longer interested in spending time on the whole let-me-get-to-know-you show.

  • Wasting time respond to a text
  • No longer responding to subtle attempts to seek attention
  • Deactivate my dating profiles
  • Cutting someone out the moment they play stupid & ridiculous games

These next months, I’m going to Date Myself.

Yes, that’s what I said.

Do things I’ve put in the back burner, such as:

  • Get back into running
  • Get back into reading
  • Get back to aimlessly roaming a city with no expectations
  • Get back into going out with my girls
  • Get back to event planning & having a good ol’ time
  • Get back to ME

Ghost of boyfriend’s past is a reality. I acknowledge it, and I’ve grown from it. Cheers to new beginnings and always believing in love and finding the one who fits you best.

 

Dating in the BOI: Mr. McNasty

Dates: ZERO

App used: Tinder

Status: Block & Deleted


So, it actually happened. I got attacked by the d&ckpics (disclaimer: creepy blog post below)

Yes, ladies and gentleman. The inevitable happened. I’m fortunate I have no recent experience dealing with the situation in which I’m going to describe to you. Nonetheless it was only a matter of time.


Here’s the backstory:

Back in January, I matched with someone on Tinder (the usual). It was a decent conversation, and he asked to exchange numbers.

I thought sure, why not?

We exchanged texts here and there, but the conversation exchange didn’t amount to anything substantive.


Fast-forward to last week:

Here I am at work in my office, typing away, answering emails, and minding my business. With my phone being locked, I see this text message from an unknown number.

Side note: This is a weird habit, but I don’t save numbers in my phone unless I deem it necessary. To illustrate: if a guy I meet on Tinder wants to exchange numbers, I don’t automatically save it in my contacts. It’s not until we have a good conversation, possibly an in-person meetup, is where I decide to add him to my contacts. I usually save it as John Doe (Tinder).

When I received this hey message, I’m thinking who the hell is this?!

I unlock my phone, and I noticed I had a prior exchange with a person from this number. I scrolled up to read all of the messages, and I still had no clue who I was talking to.

C’mon, it’s been since January 5th when we last spoke! Clearly he left no imprint on my life.

Before I had a chance to respond, here’s what happened next:

McNasty: I’m in Boise finally, dft right now?

Me: No response

McNasty: [Sends 1st d*ckpic]

McNasty: [Sends 2nd d*ickpic]

McNasty: [Sends 3rd d*ckpic]

I am not kidding you. While at work, I was bombarded with disgusting and unwanted photos from Mr. McNasty.  I elected not to respond because I didn’t want him to know this was still my phone number.

I logged into Tinder, and what do I see…, a message from McNasty:

McNasty: Hey, I sent you some d*ckpics, did you get them?

Me: No response

McNasty: It would be a shame if I sent them to the wrong number.

Me: [totally lying] That’s  not my number anymore. You blindly sent d*ckpics to a number? Why?

McNasty: Well, what’s your number?

Me: For what? So you can send me unwanted photos? No thanks.

McNasty: I thought you were DTF?

Me: Really? That’s interesting. Because we exchanged numbers? No thanks.

McNasty: Whatever. Have a great life.

Me: Thanks! I will have an awesome life


I quickly unmatched with McNasty and shrugged off that disgusting feeling.


Here’s what I have a problem with, and I hope readers take note. It has been more than 3 months since I last spoke to Mr. McNasty. Three months! During the course of three months, lots could have transpired:

  • New phone number
  • New boyfriend
  • I moved away
  • Got abducted by aliens

I am poking fun, but truth be told, this person did not even think to ask whether this was my number or not. He thought it was his right to send me photos of himself (3 disturbing photos, one where in the background you can see the bath-time toys of his child). It’s one thing if you and someone you’re dating/seeing/talking to  mutually agree to exchange nude photos; it’s another issue if such exchange was not agreed upon nor requested.


Over the past few months, I haven’t really been on any dating apps as much. The appeal of swiping right or another awkward date is slowly dwindling. Don’t get me wrong — I plan to still use Tinder, especially when I’m traveling these next few months.  I, however, will start believing in destiny & acknowledge I’ll meet the right person when the time is right.

Until then, I plan to keep going on dates, whether in the BOI or not.


 

How have you handled receiving inappropriate photos which you never requested? I’d love to hear how you dealt with it!


Stay tuned for another Dating in the BOI story!

Single in the BOI: Mr. Forgetful

Dating in the BOI has been an adventure, to say the least. From awkward first dates, to run-ins with people from my past, it sure isn’t boring here in the BOI.


For this entry, I changed it from Dating in the BOI to Single in the BOI because I’ll start sharing stories about my “Single Ladies” experiences when I go out.


Last month, it felt like I went to Fatty’s a whole lot. Maybe because it was 3 weekends in a row where I ended up at Fatty’s.

When I tell people I go to Fatty’s, the responses vary: some people respond with an immediate annoyed look, others say “I LOVE FATTY’S”, or I don’t really get a reaction. More like an indifference.  To me, any place which plays music, has room to walk around, and I can see a dancing Panda is a win.


On those three separate occasions, I ran into this one guy — I’ll call him Mr. Forgetful (keep reading, because I’ll tell you why he has this name).  Nothing really stood out about this one guy — he’s actually shorter than me, wears hoodies, and smells like cigarettes. BUT I’m a sucker for pretty smiles and a guy has his own way of being (not in a big crowd acting reckless and consistently bumping into me!)


Going against my norm, I smiled back at him prompting him to want to walk my way and give me a high-5. Yes, he gave me high-5. Not sure if this was out of nervousness or what. But I played along. Don’t want to knock down a high-5.


Later that night, I continued to dance in a solo fashion enjoying the sounds of the deejay. Mr. Forgetful approaches me, and this time he decides to… wait for it (in my Barney voice from HIMYM)..HUG ME.

Yes, this time he hugged me.


Honestly, I thought that was pretty cute gesture. It also made me realize how much he smelled like cigarettes (not really a fan of cigarettes).


As the night went on, he came back and we engaged in a conversation.  He asked me my:

  1. Name
  2.  Where I’m from (he’s not from Boise)
  3. If I come to Fatty’s often

I told him my name probably more than once. But who is counting.


The following weekend, who do I see at Fatty’s? Yes, Mr. Forgetful. No, this isn’t where he forgets who I am. He actually remembered. Instead of a hug or a high-5, this time he extended his arm out and gave me a casual greeting. While doing that he yells out I remember YOU!


This time, I didn’t stay out long and only wanted a temporary escape by listening to music at Fatty’s. When I did see him, we danced together for a bit (side note: I’m proud that I got over my own insecurities when dancing with someone shorter than me; he’s probably 5’8 or shorter. I’m noticeably taller given I’m 5’10).


This hi/bye game was what happened the third time I saw him at Fatty’s.


This is when he became Mr. Forgetful.


When I went to the Egyptian Theater for Valentine’s Day to see When Harry Met Sally, I recognized a familiar face. Mind you, some weeks had past since I last saw him. After giving the young lady my entry ticket, I saw Mr. Forgetful working at the Egyptian. With some seconds passing, Mr. Forgetful turns and says to me oh, don’t I know you from somewhere?

Mmmmkayyyy.

Do you know me from somewhere?


Hey buddy — it’s not like I’ve seen you at so many places in Boise. I’ve never bumped into you at any other place but Fatty’s. Yet, it’s challenging for you to remember me. Even my friend was like really? She remembers me talking about Mr. Forgetful when we went out to Fatty’s together. He even walked by us that one night.


I did what anyone would do — greeted him by his first name, and I reminded him we’d met at Fatty’s.


You know what he did? Walked around where he was stationed while working, and he decided to hug  me.

Kinda awkward.

So here’s the scoop. He doesn’t probably remember me because :

  1. He wants to come off as aloof and un-bothered.
  2. He may have been under the influence during out 3 separate conversations, including me mentioning my name at least 3 times (my thoughts & reason).
  3. Or, he’s that forgetful

Overall, I thought it was entertaining.


You’re probably asking whether I genuinely expect someone to remember my name after meeting/talking in a nightclub. Honestly — yes, yes I do. Regardless of whether I’ve meet you at Fatty’s, at Albertson’s, or while at a professional event. I try to remember names & faces, especially if it’s more than one occasion I see you.

I haven’t seen him since the Egyptian, and I really don’t plan on seeing him anytime soon. Don’t get me wrong, I do plan on going to Fatty’s and enjoy an amazing night out.


I might just become inflicted with selective amnesia next time I happen to see him.


Single Boiseans: what do you do when someone doesn’t recognize you after a few exchanges?

 

 

 

Dating in the BOI: 6 Type of Men on POF

As a single woman with limited time, I’ll admit that I’ve downloaded a few share of dating apps. I see these as tools as opposed to strictly relying on them to meet people for dates.


Whether you’re a single new to Boise (like me) or recently single Boisean, part of the dating game is the initial interactions. That said, here’s my take on the 6 type of men you’ll find on Plenty of Fish:

 

Mr. Sales-y. At first, he seems all sweet and innocent. He’ll say sweet nothings like “I read your profile and you seem so sweet and smart” or “You are absolutely beautiful and stunning.” You might be thinking “wait, aren’t these how you should address someone?” Well…maybe. Most likely these type of men copy & paste their messages and send them out in masses to all women regardless of whether or not they’ve read their profile. How do I know this? Because my profile doesn’t really say much, yet I sound sweet and smart? Hmm…


Mr. Muscles. His POF profile is inundated with muscle selfies. He takes the lyrics to the song “Let’s Take a Selfie” to heart. Shirtless selfie in the car. Shirtless selfie in the bathroom. Oh wait – shirtless selfie while eating! Can’t forget that. Be prepared for a message like “hey”. He’ll be under the notion his muscles + a generic “hey” warrant a response. Hey, maybe it will for you.

Mr. Straight-Forward. I feel like every dating app has one of these: a man who is blunt and straight to the point. Here’s some actual messages I received

  • Huhha Hubba! Nice rack 🙂
  • I love a sexual woman
  • Describe your sex drive in one word

Mr. Time Suck. It’s that guy that you initially have a good conversation with, but ultimate it turns boring. It’s the daily “hey” message. You entertain him because he seems nice and engaging. After awhile, the conversation becomes stale, all filled with “heys” and never leaves POF land. No substance, no depth, no excitement. Ultimately, you need to make the decision to cut him because the conversation is a time suck.

Mr. No-Pic. Yes ladies, you’ll see accounts where his photo is the default POF “grayed out” photo. His answer to “what I’m looking for” is “isn’t looking for anything or nothing serious.” Most likely, this man is married or in a relationship and uses this app to perpetuate his devious ways. He may even be as direct as stating that he’s in a relationship and looking for an escape. Yuck!

Mr. Jail Bird. Be prepared to see photos of inmates. How can you initially tell? In the background of their photos, you’ll see steel bunk beds, sexy calendars on the wall, or even bars. The man are dressed from head-to-toe in gray sweatshirt/sweatpants. Now, if you can’t tell they are inmates, it won’t take you long to figure it out. In the comments section, you’ll see “please send all inquires to: ______ Correctional Facility”. I’m not kidding you!


I haven’t had the best luck with POF, honestly. I truly believe it’s filled with Plenty of Fakes. But I’m still on it in hopes that I’ll meet a decent person, at least worth going out on a date. I’ll admit though — the app can be wildly addicting because you get notified when someone “likes” you or “wants to meet you” or messages you.

Stay tuned for a future blog post about the type of questions you’ll asked when on POF.


Want to read my personal dating stories? Click here!